A Bucket List: Things You Can Do Before Hell

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sand pail I don't know what, exactly, Hell is going to be like. The Bible uses several descriptions and metaphors. None of them are terribly positive. In fact, they're all positively terrible.

Jesus made something clear, though: You can be real busy doing religious stuff, and still go there. Real busy. In fact, I made a list awhile back of religious stuff you can do and still, if God doesn't "know" you, doesn't have your heart -- well, you missed the point. Completely.

He wants your heart.

It's a "bucket list", really, kinda like the movie where the guys do stuff before they die. Here's some awesome stuff you can do that, in and of themselves, won't mean squat without your heart. You can do them all, but...He doesn't want your list-keeping. He's not impressed by your business. He wants your heart.

Did I mention that?

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Be a scripture memorizer

Go to church camp

Teach Sunday School

Tithe

Be a brilliant theologian

Lead the Cookies-for-Newcomers ministry

Think you're pre-destined for Heaven

Listen to Christian radio

Work in Christian radio

Lead "powerful worship"

Preach the Word

Be a missionary in Africa

Be involved in a small group

Stand for Justice and Peace

Vote pro-life

Go to seminary

Pray for the President

Have a brilliant, theologically-astute understanding of Grace

Talk to people about Christ

Say "the sinner's prayer"

Speak in tongues

Wear a WWJD? bracelet

Be an elder in your church

Argue with your teacher about evolution

Lead family devotions

Argue theology on your blog

Argue theology on this blog

Take a Stand for prayer in school

Start a hip, organic church

Substitute the word "poop" for the word "shit"

"Take" or "receive" "communion" every week, month, quarter, or year, without fail

Come forward at church camp

Take a Stand for Truth in the face of the alarmingly-relativist "emergent" church

Place sticker of fish, preferably eating Darwin fish, on car

Pray

Confidently trace your church's lineage back to Peter

Read Max Lucado books

Read books about Max Lucado books

Be sure you're Elect

Suspect you're cool because you sure no one's Elect

Read the Bible a lot

Argue that drinking alcohol would ruin your "witness"

Sing the right words to "Shout to the Lord", unapologetically, unlike those rassemfrassems on American Idol. Sheesh.

Rue those new choruses that lack deep theology

Be transparent about your shortcomings on your radio show

Be baptized

Know the guitar chords for all the Chris Tomlin songs

Teach Chris Tomlin all the guitar chords to the Chris Tomlin songs

Personally baptize Chris Tomlin

Sponsor a child through Compassion International

Steer clear of R-rated movies

Homeschool your children

Mail only Christmas cards with baby Jesus in it, and a scripture

Look like Jesus with a beard and stuff

Be a member of Promise Keepers

Be a member of Sojourners

Be a Prophetic Voice

Be a counselor at a Billy Graham Crusade

Wear "Lord's Gym" t-shirts

Organize VBS

Work at Focus on the Family

Share openly at Small Group

Tsk tsk Harry Potter

Know who Priscilla and Aquilla are

Know who DeGarmo and Key are

Watch, repeatedly, "The Passion of the Christ"

Force your kids to watch, repeatedly, "The Passion of the Christ"

Go to confession

Eschew the banalities of commercial Christian culture and refuse to listen to Michael W. Smith, instead opting for Sufjan Stevens and U2 and -- maybe -- Mat Kearney

Bemoan the secularization of Christmas

Be a key member of a church that offers solid, Biblical teaching -- none of that namby-pamby stuff

Be the pastor who offers solid, Biblical teaching -- none of that namby-pamby stuff

Cheer O'Reilly

Boo Olbermann

Give the neighborhood kids "Cross-Pops" (TM) candy for Halloween

Talk about how spiritually lame you are all the time

Lead your neighbors to Christ

"Study to show yourself approved"

Be correct about every. single. thing.

"Know", theologically, that this post is correct, too, but live as if it weren't

posted by Brant Hansen at 7:48 PM on February 22nd, 2010

17 Comments | Email this to a friend |

dear brant i really liked your bucket list i listen to you show every day on my way to work and at home.

keep it real and keep on with what God has called you to do which is reach others with the radio

GOD BLESS

Posted By Joel Ward | February 22, 2010 @ 4:48

I so agree, christian seem to fit Christ in the mix. That why I tell people that I am a Jesus freak not a christian. I think more will agree with you than not. Well at least I am on the same page as you.

Posted By Dhana | February 23, 2010 @ 7:49

You're right, you can do all those things and not end up in heaven. If you don't give God your heart, then it doesn't matter what you do. You have to be his and not just do things to have people see, do them because he has lead you to.

God Bless

Posted By Elizabeth Leavins | February 23, 2010 @ 7:54

As my former pastor says, the only question that matters is "WWJS:" What would Jesus say... if asked if He owns you?

Posted By Hanna | February 23, 2010 @ 7:57

Soooooo....basically we are all doomed to go to "**** in a handbasket" unless
we are beyond the "acts" of being "churchy"

Posted By A | February 23, 2010 @ 8:01

hi brant, i agree with your list, this is such an eye opener, this make me realise just how much i fall short in my walk with god. i listen to your show every morning.you,nikki and pablo are awesome.you three have lifted my spirit alot.
thanks and gods speed.

Posted By jw stewart | February 23, 2010 @ 8:06

I like what you wrote thank you very much. It teaches me more, something I need to do more is learn the word, again thank you.

Posted By kelsey willgrubs | February 23, 2010 @ 8:08

So true......would it really be worth doing all of those things for just the knowledge of doing them. It might "look" good by others, but are you really doing them for you or are you doing them for God's glory???

Posted By Jennifer Griner | February 23, 2010 @ 8:10

The truth hurts and you really can do all those things and if your heart isnt in the right place none of this matters. This is why i love to listen to your show. You talk about things that people think about but people never talk about because they are too afraid to affend the wrong people but sometimes the truth hurts doesnt it?!?!Because you blogged this i8t could open someones eyes and change them forever!!!!!!! Thank you.

Posted By Amanda Meadows | February 23, 2010 @ 8:37

You forgot
" Be 100% offended by the Flying Spaghetti Monster"

Posted By Brett | February 23, 2010 @ 9:49

I am doomed! Who is DeGarmo and Key?!?

Posted By Whipsnard Q Bimblemann, III, E | February 23, 2010 @ 6:38

All I can say is help me Jesus. I can remember laughing with Him. I can remember crying with Him. I can remember the ****erflies in my stomach kinda joy with every thought of Him. I miss Him. I miss they way I felt about myself when I looked to HIm. I miss the peace He would wash over me. I simply miss Him. It feels as though my want is alive but my try is dead. I want to try for Him again. I want to regain the strength to resist laziness and selfish desires so that I can experience Him again. I want people to see Him through me again, sensing His gentleness and welcoming arms through me. I want to be used by Him again. I want Him above all else. All I can say is help me Jesus.

Thanks for the post Brant... I have been reminded, once again, how very much I need and desire Him.

Posted By Carolyn Wilson | February 23, 2010 @ 9:09

A lot. It is a very good list and a good reminder about being what a christian really means. Also, I was laughing to myself while i read it.
Also, is that really a picture of you? Because i listen to you every morning on my way to school and did NOT imagine you looking like that. I thought you would look older.

Posted By Carissa | February 24, 2010 @ 5:08

Dear brant,
Like your show. Seems that you call things out with is good. And its sad that you see "christains" in the world today.
Who are ver much like this. It is like the scripture that says" but lord we cast out devils in your name" and jesus told
Them to depart from him. Its true we need our heart right with god. To first establish our relashionship with him and
Then will god bring the rest. But my question is can some one speak in toungs with out god having their heart. It says
In the bible that if some one says they are saved with any sin in their heart they are a lier. Thanks for callling it.
Its good to see somone unafraid to call sin sin.... like the show have a good one

Posted By jared | February 24, 2010 @ 7:04

Brant, I sit here trying to come up with some
"high foluting comment " but really all I want to say is thanks. I use to listen to every "christian talk radio" program I could find, but all I found were those things on the list. When I stopped trying I found out that was all it took to clear my windows so I could see His smiling face just sitting there waiting, waiting for me to get done with "my list". Thank you Father for letting some of your Glorious freedom leak out of Brant and on me
TIM

Posted By Tim | February 25, 2010 @ 6:40

Dear Brant.....

I really liked your bucket list e-mail...and I think is so cool, how GOD works his mysterious ways because I just finished reading chapter 7 of the book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and that specific chapter talks about how GOD is love and that we should be doing everything in our power to glorify him at all times.....I love your show...I listen to you guys every morning...GOD Bless you and keep up the good work for the LORD.....

Posted By Angelica Marquez | May 5, 2010 @ 6:30

I really like how cool you are; your neat like a 45 year old skateboarder. I know now that I can pretty much trash
knowing scripture that well because like you say; tHey are just stories. I hope you make a good living keeping it superficial theologically. I know the Bible says the 'truth sets free' and a "man is what he thinks" but I just wanta be loose and hippy like you showing the world we Christians can be cooler than them without really standing fast to scripture; I even began to drink a lot of beer because like you say drinking is a lame thing to be concerned about in your bucket list; just got a DUI but God will fix it. ha ha ha that Nikki is cool too; who is her favorite american idol contestant.

Scott and Sam; Scott and Sam...........I like how they giggle about stuff like stain on a tee-shirt I know in real life everybody laughs like them and laughs about all the giggly things they do; I want to be a glee club person just like them.

party on dudes this new wave of 'Christian' radio is gonna change the world.........what......ok......coooomiiiiiiiiiiiing mom!!

Posted By Jimmy | June 28, 2010 @ 6:57

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